What is Your Natural Element and How does it Create Love & Success Blocks?

#successblocks, #fiveelements



All ancient healing traditions from India, Tibet, China, Native Indian tribes to the Greeks believed that our bodies are made up of a combination of natural elements. Using nature as a model, these traditions were able to understand the human mental, emotional, and physical constitution and successfully develop tools to balance the elements and thus heal the body and mind. Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine are two lineages that withstood the test of time and are still practiced actively into modern times. Here, I have combined several of these systems to create a new universal system of seven elements.


Understanding your personal make-up of these elements will give you insight into your own personal love language, beliefs, possible pitfalls, and an understanding of how to avoid them. You can find the interactive assessment HERE to find out your make-up. Here is an overview of the seven elements:


Fire – Passionate and Impulsive

A woman with the predominant fire element tends to be of lean and wiry build. She is extroverted with a generally positive outlook on life. She is passionate, feisty, emotionally volatile, and has strong likes and dislikes. Though she is quick to anger, she does not hold grudges. Sex is very important to her. She likely follows her gut instincts, and her heart and head play second fiddle. She attracts men easily but may have a harder time getting them to stick around or stay committed. Her motto is, “If you got it, flaunt it.” She likes to be noticed and will go to lengths to make sure that her presence is appreciated. She seems outwardly confident but has a deep need to be validated by others. She also tends to be impulsive and reactive. Love for a fire woman is all-consuming and filled with physical pleasure and desire.  Her love block is her impulsive nature and mistaking lust for love.


Air – Joyful and Flighty

A woman ruled by the air element is pixie-like, cheerful, and flighty. She is generally of slim and delicate build and does not put on weight easily. She is extroverted and friendly but fickle. Like the wind, her feelings change quickly and she tends to get bored easily. She can be on edge and nervous when stressed, is often fidgety, and has an eternally childlike quality. Her motto would be, “Girls just want to have fun.” Her flighty nature makes her likely to either run away or “play dumb” and pretend not to see obvious problems in a relationship. Love for air women is sweet, tender, and joyful.  Her love block is her belief that commitment will compromise her freedom.


Earth – Dependable and Stubborn

An earth element woman is nurturing and caring. She is introverted, calm, grounded, and maternal. She is likely to have a medium to a more voluptuous build. She is also practical and steady in her approach to life and love. She is reliable and compassionate. She tends to get complacent, lazy, and may become very stubborn. “Slow and steady wins the race,” would be her motto. She has a tendency to bend over backwards to accommodate her lover, friends, and family at the expense of herself. She can become obsessive and intrusive and can worry unnecessarily. Also, her wish to be needed sometimes leads her into co-dependent relationships or makes her give too much and become depleted. Love for an earth woman is bonding in mind, body, and soul.  Her love block is that she can become smothering and even controlling in the name of love.


Water – Intuitive and Emotional

The water element woman is reserved and cool on the surface, but her emotions run deep. This gives her a mysterious and enigmatic air about her. She is highly self-sufficient and independent. She can go with the flow and be supple, but also has a strong will to get things done. Unlike the wood types, who get things done by force, the water type is more adaptable and subtle, and can achieve her goals by ascertaining the best path to her desired outcome. She is introverted and appreciates solitude and tranquillity. She is likely of medium or round build. She is seductive and highly intuitive and empathic. She is most likely to follow her heart, but may completely ignore her head and gut when she falls in love. She does not forgive or forget easily, and at worst can be vindictive and jealous. She can isolate herself and become cold and unresponsive when hurt. Love for a water woman is the joining of two streams, where you become your lover and your lover becomes you.  Her love block is that she gets too swept up in her emotions and loses perspective.


Metal – Disciplined and Judgmental

A metal element woman is detail-oriented, methodical, and a perfectionist. She is faithful, brave, and magnanimous. She is also intellectually sharp and has a high level of self-discipline, making her highly successful in her career. She likes structure and organization. She likes to “cut to the chase” and is direct in her communication but can also be very charming and diplomatic. Metal types often have a strong athletic build. Though she is no wallflower, she is generally introverted and can seem insular.  She tends to hold on to grief and past hurts that can damage her present relationships. This can make her guarded and unwilling to open up and end up replacing intimacy with material possessions, or focus solely on career success. Love for a metal woman is completion.  Her love block is her critical and judgmental nature.


Wood – Expansive and Impatient

A wood element woman is competitive and thrives when challenged. She can be both extroverted and introverted. She is also compassionate and philanthropic. Wood types are determined, type-A personalities who do well under pressure and seek adventure, novelty, and movement. She is constantly looking to grow and evolve. Wood types tend to have thin, lean bodies and move with grace. She needs to feel a sense of purpose in her life. She works hard to achieve her goals but can drive herself to exhaustion. Wood types can be irritable, frustrated, and impatient. She can be overly stubborn and set in her ways. Love for a wood type woman is expansion and evolution.  Her love block is that she can be pushy and likes to bend others to her will.


Wood – Expansive and Impatient

A wood element woman is competitive and thrives when challenged. She can be both extroverted and introverted. She is also compassionate and philanthropic. Wood types are determined, type-A personalities who do well under pressure and seek adventure, novelty, and movement. She is constantly looking to grow and evolve. Wood types tend to have thin, lean bodies and move with grace. She needs to feel a sense of purpose in her life. She works hard to achieve her goals but can drive herself to exhaustion. Wood types can be irritable, frustrated, and impatient. She can be overly stubborn and set in her ways. Love for a wood type woman is expansion and evolution.  Her love block is that she can be pushy and likes to bend others to her will.


Spirit - Compassionate and Universal

Spirit is the pure life force that is the source of all of the above elements. Similar to how white light can be fractioned to produce the colors of the rainbow, the other six elements have arisen from the original pure life force of Spirit. The Taoists call this Chi; the Vedic traditions of India call it Prana. While the other elements are of the physical realm, Spirit is metaphysical. When combined with other elements it allows an eagle-eye perspective that brings out the best of the element it is fused with. It manifests as awareness, and when fully integrated, allows one to understand the nature of the mind and human experience.  Her love block is that being self-sufficient and whole on her own, she unconsciously may not find romantic love necessary.

Many of us are a combination of these elements. If that’s the case for you, read the two or three elements you scored highest on to understand your relationship pitfalls and what makes you attractive. In Chapter 5 of my book Happily Ever After, I further explore common beliefs held by each elemental type that may be holding back your ability to have a fulfilling intimate relationship.


Following are some examples of how the elements combine to create personalities, each with their own unique allure and love blocks.


Jenna’s main elements were metal, wood, and fire.  She was a perfectionist, driven to succeed, and was a bold and vocal force to be reckoned with.  Her strong metal element made her hold herself and others to a high standard, which often made her highly critical and cutting.  The wood element instilled an adventurous spirit and tireless ambition to grow.  Metal, wood and fire are all masculine elements.  This combination often results in a woman who is highly accomplished and successful in the workplace but her lack of feminine qualities make it challenging to find and keep a romantic partner.  Women like Jenna often attract a man who is more feminine and yielding.  She is typically the one who wears the pants in the relationship and she likes it that way, yet at the same time, she can be critical and disrespectful of her partner for being too sensitive or a pushover.


Maria was predominantly of the fire element but with a touch of air and earth.  The fire element made her a passionate sexy bombshell and the air element added to the fickle and impulsive nature of fire. At the same time, the earth element made her a very caring and giving individual.  The paradoxical combination of the self-centered fire and self-effacing earth meant that she attracted men with her sexy appearance and but ended up giving away too much too soon.


Nora scored highly with spirit followed by air and water.  She was calm and highly intuitive but lacked motivation and unconsciously didn’t want to be of this world.  Spirit, air and water are the more mutable and metaphysical elements.  Lacking balance of the more physical elements of metal, earth, and wood, she was hermit-like and withdrawn into her own stories and beliefs.  Also, the emotional nature of the water made her more likely to hold on to past regrets and resentments. 


As you can see, understanding your elemental nature provides good insight into your own mental and emotional make up. 


You can find a quick assessment of your elements Click Here

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